Sunday, October 30, 2011

The blind will see!

He said that miracles like that would happen.  Yet our idea, even of miracles, tend to be limited to some box we have placed Him in.  We created that box with the accumulation of our experiences coupled by what we have been taught and told about Him.  Now please don't misunderstand me.  I am no scholar.  I am not claiming to have unique spiritual insights or even the faith of a mustard seed most days.  But I continue to move forward, sometimes after taking 2 steps back and I like to think that I notice what He is doing once in a while.
My friend is legally blind.  My friend doesn't really want you to know. My friend is going to have sight restored, first in one eye, then 2 weeks later in the other.  That's a miracle.  When I think about it, it's a miracle of profound proportions.  However an equally profound miracle takes place when the vision of who we are becomes restored and we see life clearly again.
If you are like me you didn't even realize how blind you were getting until one day you woke up and felt so much in the dark, so alone and isolated, not knowing which way to turn because you couldn't see clearly either way.  Then in some miraculous, crazy way, sight came back into your life.  And this new found vision allows you to look back and see more clearly and to look around and see others that are walking with you.  And you are able to focus ahead and move forward with a new freedom that this renewed sight has brought you.  Why are you so surprised with that miracle?  Why is the box you  have put Him in so small?  Why are you so blind?
Sometimes you deny your blindness because you have become used to getting by in darkness.   Sometimes you reject any solutions because you're too prideful to reveal how blind you really are. Sometimes you accept your blindness out of fear of what it will take to see again. And afraid that the surgury won't insure rhat your sight returns. Sometimes you get in the way of the miracles yet sometimes they happen regardless of your posture and position.  So maybe He isn't contained by the box you have placed Him in.
When the veil is lifted, when your sight is restored you experience freedom and hope that had left you long ago.  Now it's not only your dreams that are vivid but your vision is clear and propelling you forward toward destinations that you can see.
I'm 44. Even before 40 I started wearing "readers" and I actually wear them all the time.  Yet I have no idea what it is to experience what my friend is going through dealing with blindness.  But the figurative blindness I speak of I am very well familiar with. I am experience new sight each and every day.  For the longest time I didn't realize how blind I was.  I denied it.  I rejected solutions. I accepted it and chose to live with it.  I'm getting more and more sight back every day.  I see things in new ways.  I see the past more clearly.  I see the future with hope even though the present is more challenging than most days I've lived until now.  And I see the present for what it is.  Some days I wish I didn't have to face it.  Some days I have to look the other way, afraid of what I see before me.  But more often than not I am looking ahead with great anticipation.
I will give you one specific example from my life.  You have to look for additional examples from your own.  For years I have refused to see what is now obvious to me in regards to my vocation.  For years I have chosen to be blind to the fact that Church or School Choral Music is what I should be doing.  Recently my sight has returned and I have applied for Church Choir Director jobs.  It is what I was created for.  I see that now.  It is what I have been successful at in the past.  I see that now.  It is what I am able to do with a passion that comes from my soul.  I see that now.  I have been allowing my blindness to hold me back for years.  And I have kept Him in a box so as not to let Him help me see.  He broke out of my box.
Lest you worry about me I am also seeing lots of other things about myself with clarity that is new and refreshing.  I'm getting better about accepting what I see when I look back.  I'm excited about what I see when I look forward.  What I see right where I am today is helping me put one foot in front of the other.  I can't stay here.  I have to move forward.  At least I can see now.  What I see is a miracle!

Out with the old, in with the new

So I have been inspired to start blogging again.  I went back and looked at my old blog,
but couldn't remember how to log in.  Sad but true.
But sometimes it is good to start fresh.  It seems to be the theme of my life recently.
After changing jobs 3 months ago I find myself looking for employment again.  It is very stressful and often disheartening.  I'm to the point where I will take anything in the short term and will go to a Temp Agency tomorrow.
Lots of changes in my life.  Lots of opportunities for a fresh, new start.  At 44, have I learned the lessons to make each new start better than the past?  I hope so.  It's hard not to look at the past as "failure".  But I have been recently challenged to look for a different word, other than the "f" word to describe those places in my journey that have needed to be left behind.  I don't know what that word is yet, but I'm sure I will find it.  Until then, I think I'm going to look foward towards the new and exciting future that is ahead of me.  It's much more fun to dream about what is to come than to focus on what was behind.
I'm sure I'll have lots to say as I walk forward.  I'm glad you are interested so far.  It's nice to be known.  That's kinda new, too.

I'm Back

I have decided to come back to the world of blogging.  I really kinda enjoyed it before.  Then life happened.  Now I have no life, so what the heck.  Maybe it's just for me.  Maybe it's for you.  Maybe I just want to be known.  We'll find out.
If you read it, comment on it.  Just something short is fine.  Just let me know we touched, if just briefly.  Life is too short to feel alone.