Recovering from…

Have you ever been to the end of yourself? Have you ever said to yourself “I really don’t have what it takes”? Have you ever felt like the power you need to take one more step, to do one more thing, to live one more day is beyond your grasp? Did you know that the Bible is written by a number of people who experienced the same exact thing as you and me?

Growing up in a Christian home, connected to an ancestral line of Christians, and immersed in a community and culture of Christians was not enough to keep me from feeling that I was powerless. But feeling it and admitting it are two different things. So the answer to the feeling was to keep trying, in my own strength, because I didn’t have the courage to do anything else. 

I personally acknowledged a relationship with Christ in August of 1978 at age 11. As I gained an understanding of what a relationship with Christ really was, I rededicated my life to Christ in March of 1983 at age 16. After graduating from my Christian High School I attended a Christian College and grew in my knowledge of Christ and Christianity. I went on to be the worship leader at several churches and help people come into the presence of God in very real ways.

Thousands of years ago, Asaph was the head of worship and choir director in the time of King David and King Solomon. 12 of the Old Testament Psalms are attributed to him.  He was a prophet and a poet. In Psalms 73 we also learn that “…my faith was almost gone…” (Ps. 73:2 GNT). Here is a man who wrote more of the Bible than many of the other writers. Here is a man who led God’s people in worship in the very presence of the Ark of the Covenant and the Temple itself. Here is a man who facilitated worship for David, “a man after God’s own heart.” Yet he nearly missed seeing the goodness of God.

Psalm 73 goes on to list lots of reasons Asaph experienced this. I have my own reasons for experiencing this. You have your own reasons if you have experienced or are experiencing this. Some of you have come to this place because of the terrible and unfortunate things that have happened to you. For others of us, we have chosen to be victims of our own sinful choices. Regardless, many of us have “…lost confidence…” in the power of God to bring us back to a centered life, a sane life, a life in the care and control of God Himself. Whether we admit it or not, if we are really, truly honest with ourselves, we have begun looking at others and their circumstances and, like Asaph, become jealous. Or we have made sinful choices that have led to where we are today. In either case, we have failed to honestly look at ourselves. In either case, many of us have ended up in a very low place of nearly losing our faith.

Most people reach that bottom point of life where they have had enough. While I thought I had been there before, after the hills on this journey, the valleys seemed to get even deeper. The “hill country” had taken its toll on me because the valleys were too low. It is comforting to know that in my experience I was in the company of David’s worship leader.

Today I am happy to say that I am now recovering from being a victim. Listen to what Asaph says;

“I was so stupid. I was senseless and ignorant, acting like a brute beast before You, Lord. Yet, in spite of all this, You comfort me by Your counsel; You draw me closer to You. You lead me with Your secret wisdom. And following You brings me into Your brightness and glory! Whom have I in heaven but You? You’re all I want! No one on earth means as much to me as You. Lord, so many times I fail; I fall into disgrace. But when I trust in You, I have a strong and glorious presence protecting and anointing me. Forever You’re all I need! Those who abandon the worship of God will perish. The false and unfaithful will be silenced, never heard from again. But I’ll keep coming closer and closer to You, Lord Yahweh, for Your name is good to me. I’ll keep telling the world of Your awesome works, my faithful and glorious God (Psalm 73:22-28 TPT).

How does one “recover?” I will lay it out simply here. If you would like more insights, I would encourage you to respond to this post; take that first step of acknowledging that you are in this place, the same place Asaph and I have been in. So, that is the first step; to ADMIT that you do not have any power and that you cannot manage your life, as hard as you have tried.

The second step is to ACKNOWLEDGE once and for all that God is the only one that has the power you are looking for to bring your life back to center. Some of you have known that for a long time. Isn’t it time to finally accept that?

That brings me to the third step; AGREE right now, once and for all, to give up your will to God. Truly giving your life to God means actually letting Him influence every single part of who you are and what you do. Truly giving your life to God means never taking it back again. Truly giving your life to God means doing so one moment at a time.

“Recovery” is not a term that applies only to the alcoholic or the drug addict. There are a variety of hurts, habits, and hang-ups that we need to recover from. Yesterday I began recovering from a long, unhealthy relationship with food. It is the most recent of several things I have been recovering from. I have admitted I am powerless over my relationship with food. I have acknowledged that God can bring me to a place of healthy habits related to food. I have agreed that once and for all, I am giving up my will about food and letting God be involved in the changes that I am making. Like Asaph, I can say “…when I trust in You, I have a strong and glorious presence protecting and anointing me (Psalm 73:26 TPT).

If you would like to hear more insight into Psalm 73, I would invite you to find this message, "Clear Eyes, Full Hearts, Can't Lose" by Erwin McManus. Today you can find it at mosaic.org/live. This week’s service and this message play on the even hours through 8:00 pm tonight. Otherwise, you will find this message at https://mosaic.org/MESSAGES, YouTube, or anywhere you get your podcasts.

I would love to hear from you if this post resonated with you in any way. If you have questions, I'm happy to interact with you personally.

As always, thanks for reading.

Playlist to start 2021

Do you need a new playlist for January 2021? I don’t know what your tastes are so I’ll give you a playlist of my eclectic interests. Maybe something will speak to you. If so, go out and listen to more of that artist and let me know what you think.

It's All Right - Jon Batiste - Soul (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack)

Start Right Here - Casting Crowns - Start Right Here

I See Fire - Ed Sheeran - The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack)

Let Them See You - JJ Weeks Band - All Over The World

Prayed For You - Matt Stell - Everywhere But On

Who Can Do Anything - Triumphant Quartet - The High, The Low, and Everything In Between

Great I Am - Phillips, Craig, and Dean - Breathe In

Joy - Triumphant Quarte - Yes

High Fly (Didn’t I wait?) - The Rough & Tumble - Howling Back at the Wounded Dog

Hold Us Together - H.E.R. - Safety (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack)

 

 

What is the future that you are going to create in 2021?

The new year is an artificial dividing line between the old and the new. There isn't really anything magic about Jan. 1 as opposed to Dec. 31. Yet we look at it as a major delineation between the past and the future. For a great focusing talk about a future and a hope for 2021 based on Is. 61:1-6, go to Finding Freedom - Mosaic. Erwin McManus encourages us to consider the question “What is the future that you are going to create in 2021?” Many of you like the practice of “New Year’s Resolutions.” As followers of Christ, maybe it is time to turn our focus from all to the devastation of the past and become agents of hope in this new year. The challenge is huge. We've seen that even today. 

If you have interest in my reflections on this great passage of scripture and Erwin’s powerful thoughts, continue reading. Otherwise, I’m not offended if you keep scrolling.

In the Passion Translation of Isaiah 61:2 the writer says that he is announcing “a new season of Yahweh’s grace.” The Christmas season of celebration that has just wrapped up is the remembrance of the birth of the Messiah, who was tasked by His Father, God Himself, to lead in the efforts to do all the things outlined in Isaiah 61:1-6. As true Christ-followers, we understand that we are called to embrace the mission of the Messiah and, as verse 6 reminds us, be His Priests, Servants, “ministers of our God (NIV).”

I was moved and motivated when Erwin pointed out this reality about what is happening right around us. Drive around your town, your city, and look at all the businesses that are closed down, all the buildings that are boarded up, and realize that behind every vacant business are lives that have been dramatically impacted. It caused me to realize, once again, that the response of far too many in the church is to complain about having to wear a mask and bemoan their personal freedom being infringed upon. I often wonder what we are actually doing with that freedom.

Here is what I see that we as Christ-followers have been appointed to do by God; Proclaim good news to the poor (those without good news); Bind up (administer healing to) the brokenhearted; Proclaim freedom for the captives (literal and figurative); Release the prisoners from darkness (again literal and figurative); Proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor and the day of vengeance of our God; Comfort all who mourn; Provide for those who grieve; Bestow crowns of beauty instead of ashes, oil of joy instead of mourning, garments of praise instead of a spirit of despair; Rebuild the ruins and restore the places devastated; Renew the ruined cities that have been devastated.

So much of what we are called to do is contingent on the grace with which we do them and the attitudes we convey to be of real value. I’m particularly struck with verse 3 in The Passion Translation where it says “to give them a beautiful bouquet in the place of ashes, the oil of bliss instead of tears, and the mantle of joyous praise instead of the spirit of heaviness.” What message are my words transmitting when I speak to others? What attitudes of my heart are revealed when I speak? How do my words and actions show others who I am and Who’s I am?

As I reflect on this passage and the encouragement of Erwin’s talk, one more question comes to mind. What or who is the solution to the tragedies of 2020? Is it a government system created by man? Is it any political party or dynamic leader? Is. 6 tells us it is not. In fact, the Jews of the time were wrongly expecting a political Messiah to fix what they thought was a political problem. Jesus, the Messiah, identified the problem to be personal, not political. He calls us to be part of the solution; to be the “strangers…foreigners…priests…ministers,” that help others with their needs.

As I move into the new year, I have been prepared by the trials of 2020 to do the things God is calling me to do in 2021. One of the greatest Presidents in the history of America, Franklin Delano Roosevelt, was prepared to meet the needs of a hurting country of people partly because of his deeply rooted faith in Christ and partly because of the trials he had personally experienced in his life. I feel like I can say the same thing and I look forward to how that plays out in 2021.

Thanks for reading.

 

 Clouds Collect and Disperse Moisture and Trees Lie Where They Fall

Well here we are, 2021, and I’m excited to have this new label so there can be a fresh, new perspective on this thing we call life. I’m grateful that you have taken the time to consider my perspective on life. I hope that you will think about what I share in this post and my future entries; forgetting anything that has no value and incorporating anything that resonates in your spirit. Don’t forget to leave a comment or 2.

Many people I talk to are trying to recover from 2020. The clever, yet profound meme I saw recently said “This year will be the first time that hindsight will actually be 2020.” I want to challenge you and say that hindsight will not be true and clear if you have the mentality that you are a victim. These well-meaning men and women, even Christians, have this overwhelming victim mentality about 2020. For nearly 9 months they have wallowed in the effects of this global pandemic. They have constantly lamented every part of quarantine. They have continually mourned every change and loss of 1^st world freedoms. They have fought over their rights to do what they want to do and not be told otherwise. Without even realizing it, they have appeared selfish, self-seeking, sometimes lost. Might I say, they have not been the “light” they have been called to be. We are all hoping to recover from the pandemic, but that recovery period has not arrived yet.

For me, 2020 has been a year of recovery. Like each of you, I have been on a path of processing all that COVID-19 has brought. I have learned that we are not all in the same boat, but in the same ocean. But unlike some of you, I have had the opportunity to use 2020 to recover from being a victim of my own choices in life. Rather than letting 2020 be defined as one of the most negative years of my 53 years of life, 2020 is already defined as one of the best years of my life. Very little hindsight is needed for me to realize this. For the first time in forever, I have cemented myself in the ideal that I am NOT a victim.

If you are like me, you could easily look at your place in life and resent where you are, blaming it on anything and anyone but yourself. You may identify that your unhappiness was a result of someone else’s actions, lack of actions, or something completely intangible. As I looked at my life, this truth became evident; my own choices brought me to the lowest point. Any bit of unhappiness was of my own doing. Any bit of fear and anxiety was rooted in my own actions or reactions. Any bit of loneliness resulted from the steps I took on my journey.

Years ago my dad told me that if I “wait for the perfect time, that time will never come.” How we get to that time where we have the courage to take action may be different for each of us. That time for me was 2020. Ecc. 11:3-6 tells us that what we take in and store we will release. As a victim, I was storing and releasing toxic rain; not always, not everywhere, but far too often. 2020 offered me the opportunity to decidedly change what I was filling myself with and thus changing what I was giving back to the world around me.

Verse 3 goes on to tell us that where we are in this life is where we have fallen in this life. Some of us have caused ourselves to lie in the wrong place because we have been cutting and chipping away at the wrong parts of ourselves. But we cannot blame anyone but ourselves. If we just watch, with a victim mentality, what is happening in our lives, we will never become who we desire to become or who we were created to be. Verse 4 is really what my dad was saying all those years ago.

Recovering from being a victim takes action. The author of Ecclesiastes tells us that there is a season for lament (Ecc. 3:4). But it is only a season. Some of you refuse to decide that it is now the season for healing, for building, for dancing, for recovering from being a victim. Would you make 2021 the year that you actively decided that while you feel like the victim and life seems out of control, God has the power to restore you? Would you make 2021 the year to allow Christ to fill you? Would you allow Him to chip away at the parts of you that need removing and set you toward a direction of healing? Just as the author of Ecclesiastes tells us, I have experienced the profit, the reward, the gifts of recovering from being a victim of my own actions.

Happy New Year!

I Got a Virus...

Well, it's the end of 2020, the year of the COVID-19 pandemic. What have I taken away from this year? The idea that I should re-start my blog. Of all things, I have come to realize that I have a voice and I would like to be heard. It's come on like a viral infection I can't seem to get rid of. A few people have actually encouraged me to spread my infection. So here goes it.

Oh, I have taken a lot more from 2020 than that. Those of you who say 2020 has been the worst year in recent memory, I would say I feel for you. But I have to admit that 2020 may have been the best year of my life. I have so much to be grateful for, so much to be thankful for, so much to encourage you with.

In the days and weeks to come, I invite you to join me on a new journey. I will lead and explore and you will see if my findings have any value to you for your path. I would love to know that you were along for the adventure. You can leave your reflections if you would like, but you don't have to. I hope what I have to share brings something good to your life. If not, feel free to move along.

It's not my purpose to tell you about all of that in this first post since 20XX. Let's be honest, you might be the only human being reading the re-birth of my seldom read blog of the past. My purpose here is to let you know that I'm going to let my voice be heard. I'm going to speak more honestly and more openly than I ever have before. I'm likely to shock a few of you. I may make some of you mad. However, I honestly hope I make all of you think about some things you may not have thought about before.

Love By Showing Up and All Is Well

More than anything else, Christmas to me is about love.  But how is love shown most effectively?  At Christmas we try to do it with gifts.  But our socio-economic state has no bearing on the wealth of love we have to share with our family and friends.  I can’t give as many or as valuable gifts as others may give.  That doesn't mean I love you any less.

I show love by “showing up.”  Being there when I can’t or won’t give you everything you want should speak more to you than what you get.  It is what lasts a lifetime.  Showing up with attention, a kind word, a hug, a shoulder to cry on, a comical moment.

History shows us that God showed up and demonstrated his love for us.  He showed up for Noah and his family.  He showed up for the people of Israel.  Account after account in the Old Testament displays God showing up, not always giving his people what they want, but showing up for them.

And then the New Testament opens with God showing up in a major way, Emmanuel, God with us.  And God continued to show up.  In fact, the Bible tells us that when we could not gain His favor on our own, He showed up one more time and “while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.”  God, in his Son Jesus Christ, showed up and died for us that we could be united with God forever.

This Christmas I have been thinking about the stress I experience and the stress my family experiences.  I have been negligent in remembering and acknowledging that God has “shown up” in my life and will continue to show up. And because of that, “All is well!”  It’s the message of the song by Michael W. Smith.  If you haven’t heard it, you need to listen to it. 

www.youtube.com/watch?v=cjZfeEJgNRw

So I am not making a New Year’s resolution.  I never keep them.  I don’t like them.  I am, however, taking a lesson of Christmas to heart and making it part of my future. I am telling myself several times daily “All is well!”  I’m reminding myself that God has already shown up and He will continue to show up.   My stress is really unnecessary.  Your stress is really unnecessary, cause God has shown up and “All is well.”

All Is Well - Micahel W. Smith

All is well all is well. Angels and men rejoice

For tonight darkness fell Into the dawn of love's light

Sing A-le, Sing Alleluia

All is well all is well. Let there be peace on earth.

Christ is come go and tell that He is in the manger.

Sing A-le, Sing Alleluia

All is well all is well. Lift up your voice and sing.

Born is now Emmanuel. Born is our Lord and Savior.

Sing Alleluia. Sing Alleluia. All is well!

12.11.10 We're Singing Hallelujah

It was Saturday night.  I was standing on stage amidst over 300 voices and instrumentalist.  Just hours earlier I spoke with may dad. "What are you doing?" I said with a chuckle in my voice. "I don't know," he said with his usual laugh.  Dad was in the hospital.  He had gone by ambulance the night before due to excessive pain.  Melenoma had taken over many of his organs, including his heart.  He hid is pain well. Until that night.  So he and I chatted.  I wish I could remember what I said...what he said...I told him I would be flying home the next morning and I said "I'll see you tomorrow."

400 years of silence.  God's people were wondering where He had gone.  Then one day, a Light came.  And there was singing.  Hallelujah! Emmanuel. God is with us.  I tried to sing, mostly in my heart, cause the sound would not come out through my tears and pain.  "All is well, all is well..." We had to sing it.  I tried to mean it.  And again we sang "Hallelujah! Our God is with us!"  It may have been during that refrain...or another...I don't know...

We exited the stage.  I went to a quiet place.  There was a voice mail.  "Dad is with Jesus..."  He's singing Hallalujah!  Our God is with us. And he is with our God.

I miss my dad.