Have you ever been to the end of yourself? Have you ever said to yourself “I really don’t have what it takes”? Have you ever felt like the power you need to take one more step, to do one more thing, to live one more day is beyond your grasp? Did you know that the Bible is written by a number of people who experienced the same exact thing as you and me?
Growing up in a Christian home, connected to an ancestral
line of Christians, and immersed in a community and culture of Christians was not enough
to keep me from feeling that I was powerless. But feeling it and admitting it
are two different things. So the answer to the feeling was to keep trying, in
my own strength, because I didn’t have the courage to do anything else.
I
personally acknowledged a relationship with Christ in August of 1978 at age 11.
As I gained an understanding of what a relationship with Christ really was, I
rededicated my life to Christ in March of 1983 at age 16. After graduating from
my Christian High School I attended a Christian College and grew in my
knowledge of Christ and Christianity. I went on to be the worship leader at
several churches and help people come into the presence of God in very real
ways.
Thousands of years ago, Asaph was the head of worship and choir director in the time
of King David and King Solomon. 12 of the Old Testament Psalms are attributed to him. He was a prophet and a poet. In Psalms 73 we
also learn that “…my faith was almost gone…” (Ps. 73:2 GNT). Here is a man who
wrote more of the Bible than many of the other writers. Here is a man who led God’s
people in worship in the very presence of the Ark of the Covenant and the
Temple itself. Here is a man who facilitated worship for David, “a man after
God’s own heart.” Yet he nearly missed seeing the goodness of God.
Psalm 73 goes on to list lots of reasons Asaph experienced
this. I have my own reasons for experiencing this. You have your own reasons if
you have experienced or are experiencing this. Some of you have come to this
place because of the terrible and unfortunate things that have happened to you. For
others of us, we have chosen to be victims of our own sinful choices. Regardless,
many of us have “…lost confidence…” in the power of God to bring us back to a
centered life, a sane life, a life in the care and control of God Himself.
Whether we admit it or not, if we are really, truly honest with ourselves, we
have begun looking at others and their circumstances and, like Asaph, become
jealous. Or we have made sinful choices that have led to where we are today. In
either case, we have failed to honestly look at ourselves. In either case, many
of us have ended up in a very low place of nearly losing our faith.
Most people reach that bottom point of life where they have had enough. While I thought I had been there before, after the hills on this journey, the valleys seemed to get even deeper. The “hill country” had taken its toll on me because the valleys were too low. It is comforting to know that in my experience I was in the company of David’s worship leader.
Today I am happy to say that I am now recovering from being a victim. Listen to what Asaph says;
“I was so stupid. I was senseless and ignorant, acting like a
brute beast before You, Lord. Yet, in spite of all this, You comfort me by Your
counsel; You draw me closer to You. You lead me with Your secret wisdom. And
following You brings me into Your brightness and glory! Whom have I in heaven
but You? You’re all I want! No one on earth means as much to me as You. Lord,
so many times I fail; I fall into disgrace. But when I trust in You, I have a
strong and glorious presence protecting and anointing me. Forever You’re all I
need! Those who abandon the worship of God will perish. The false and unfaithful
will be silenced, never heard from again. But I’ll keep coming closer and closer to You, Lord
Yahweh, for Your name is good to me. I’ll keep telling the world of Your
awesome works, my faithful and glorious God (Psalm
73:22-28 TPT).
How does one “recover?” I will lay it out simply here. If you
would like more insights, I would encourage you to respond to this post; take
that first step of acknowledging that you are in this place, the same place Asaph
and I have been in. So, that is the first step; to ADMIT that you do not have
any power and that you cannot manage your life, as hard as you have tried.
The second step is to ACKNOWLEDGE once and for all that God is the
only one that has the power you are looking for to bring your life back to
center. Some of you have known that for a long time. Isn’t it time to finally
accept that?
That brings me to the third step; AGREE right now, once and for
all, to give up your will to God. Truly giving your life to God means actually
letting Him influence every single part of who you are and what you do. Truly
giving your life to God means never taking it back again. Truly giving your
life to God means doing so one moment at a time.
“Recovery” is not a term that applies only to the alcoholic or the
drug addict. There are a variety of hurts, habits, and hang-ups that we need to
recover from. Yesterday I began recovering from a long, unhealthy relationship
with food. It is the most recent of several things I have been recovering from.
I have admitted I am powerless over my relationship with food. I have acknowledged
that God can bring me to a place of healthy habits related to food. I have
agreed that once and for all, I am giving up my will about food and letting God be
involved in the changes that I am making. Like Asaph, I can say “…when I trust in You, I
have a strong and glorious presence protecting and anointing me (Psalm 73:26
TPT).
Great musings Don. Thanks for including me in your audience.
ReplyDeleteI appreciate you taking the time to read and respond. I hope you guys are doing well.
ReplyDeleteSo here's my quandary. And I'm surprised I'm admitting it to you. Though bring raised Catholic, I no longer identify as Christian. Ib envy those that have Christ to guide them. As in, I think faith is wonderful, I just can't identify as many do. I don't feel ill be saved by changing that. I feel ill be saved by finding something beautiful that is spirit. That is Love. That is Universal. Did that make any sense?
ReplyDeleteI think that too many Christians have strayed from the foundation of God's message through Christ, which is LOVE. What you are saying makes sense at the level I am understanding you. If you even want to dialog more we should get together. I still owe you a lunch, by the way. When COVID calms down a bit more we should do that.
ReplyDelete