You’re Looking to be Loved, Aren’t You?

I sometimes think “why am I spending time writing and why on earth am I posting my writing out there for random people to read?” There are much smarter people who already have proven that people do want to hear their thoughts. They are much more articulate than I am, have a much more diverse background, and already have a platform from which to share. I, on the other hand, just resigned the main platform that I could potentially share from. I doubt that platform will open to me again. I have started and stopped my blog enough times that even if I once had readers, they’re gone now. I appreciate my wife and my mom reading what I write, but let’s face it, they’re kind of obligated because of the nature of the loving relationship we have. So you can go to https://mosaicla.online.church/ on the even hours today and hear the talk that has inspired my words. I am not looking to be loved through my blog, just heard. I am writing because maybe the processing I have done on the subjects I am writing about will connect with you in a way that Erwin McManus will not. Maybe because of the loving relationship you and I have, your thoughts will be impacted by my thoughts in a unique way. Maybe you will decide that because you know me, you can pass on my words to someone else you know and they might resonate with the ideas and concepts that you want them to think about. But I’m going to continue to think and process and write even if no one is reading it.

This week I was reading about suicide in America. You may not know that it is the number one cause of death among gay and lesbian youth. Between 20 – 30 percent of LGBTQ people abuse substances, including alcohol, compared to 5 – 10 % of the general population. Those who are LGBTQ are 2 – 3 times more likely to be bullied. This is a group of men and women in our society in 21^st century America that is struggling to find answers to the question they have. It is not the only group in America searching for answers. It’s not being singled out from any other group for any reason other than it came to my attention this week.

The truth is, in our world today, many people are searching to make sense of their existence and their interaction with the world they live in; with the environment that they exist in; with their surroundings, and the people that are within their sphere of existence. The LGBTQ community is just one example of a group in our society that is struggling to find the answers to the same questions everyone is asking. The statistics are staggering. They are appalling and they are troublesome for me, as a Christ-follower.  Talk to almost anyone and they will tell you that they either have searched or are searching for meaning to their life. Most are trying to make some order out of what they perceive as chaos around and within them. It is interesting that many of those people decided that they can create the scenarios that bring perceived order; that they can design a truth that fits their narrative and thus exist in a realm that keeps them in the center and allows for their ultimate freedom to decided and choose anything they want to be their reality. Isn’t that what a myth is? These same people searching to make order out of perceived chaos will seldom consider that the universe itself is designed by someone who has that same desire for order. Seldom will they consider that they were designed to desire order by someone who also desires order. People think that somehow a great void and nothingness all of a sudden made one change and that change was the right change that perpetuated more right change and now here we are in a universe and a world and a sphere of existence that is the complete opposite of void and nothingness. So even though they are now wanting to create change in their existence, the entire existence of the universe could not be ordered by someone or something who desired to creatively change their existence.

I come to this topic with a bit of a bias that I want to acknowledge before I go any further. I was raised in a Christian home. My family heritage is generations of Christians, God-fearing men and women who left religions and political persecution in the Ukraine and other places prior to that, to find freedom in the United States. Having come to the conclusion at age 11 that Christianity provided the framework for me in answering these questions, like you, I have continued to struggle with the questions that I present in this blog. A framework doesn’t mean that every question is answered completely once and for all. Every question has nuance. Every answer does as well. You will likely sense my confidence in the framework through which I experience life. I want to humbly offer these thoughts in light and in spite of that.

“Why?” You may have never thought about the fact that it is one of the first things toddlers around the entire planet ask. Every little tiny human being wants to know why. Every parent and caregiver has literally fielded thousands of “why” questions from children who can hardly form a sentence, let alone comprehend the universe. Yet we all want to know why. Before trying to figure out why we have all tried to figure out something else without even knowing it. Before we have a capacity for language, before we have the ability to exert much of our free will, before we are actually cognitive enough to comprehend this in our minds, we have the need and desire to be loved. Research shows that the growth of at least one part of the infant brain is completely dependent upon the love, emotional warmth, and responsiveness shown to him or her by those in the infant’s environment.

As I was reading this week I was struck by the idea that the key question for all of us is “do you love me and will you always love me?” Whether it is asked directly or not by someone it is felt across gender lines, across sexual orientation lines, across nationality and cultural lines. Every human being wants to know that they are loved. This fact cannot be denied. Most every individual then wants to find meaning to their life. Meaning comes from knowing we are loved and by attempting to answer the “why” question. Neuroscience research supports the premise that the brain is actually primed for such things. Religion has typically been the vehicle to put a framework around such needs. It’s interesting that every culture has some sort of “religion” associated with it. Ara Norenzayan, Ph.D., a psychologist at the Univ. of British Columbia and co-author of Cognitive Science (Vol.30. No.3, 2006), says that “Religion is one of the big ways that human societies have hit on as a solution to induce unrelated individuals to be nice to each other.” He goes on to say that people become more charitable to one another by promoting belief in a supernatural agent; a “spirit” or “god.”

I find it interesting, though, that among all religions in the world, Christianity seems to be so quickly and easily excused by so many who are searching for love and searching to answer the questions of life and existence, and interested in exerting their free will. Even more interesting is the fact that in every world religion a person must “achieve” their connection with god by the nature of their actions. The much reach towards an aloof god. They must do the right things in order to get to achieve peace, happiness (nirvana), reincarnation, harmony with the universe, salvation, heaven, etc. Everything is dependent on their path to enlightenment, so to speak. You may not know this, but Christianity is the only religion (which I propose is not a religion at all) where God says we cannot and will not achieve salvation, thus He provides us the way to salvation in the most loving act one can ever comprehend, the offering of His one and only Son.

Christianity, a relationship with God through His Son Jesus Christ, answers both questions that are fundamental to all humans from the beginning of their very existence; “Am I loved?” and “why?” I know that I am loved because the Creator of the Universe provided the way for a relationship with Him, the way for being a part of His Kingdom, and did so because He loves me. Jesus cries out to us, essentially saying, as Erwin McManus pointed out in his talk today, that “nobody is coming for you” from these other religions. These other gods are not offering you the answers because you are not really loved by them.

Now I am not naïve to think that these are the only questions you desire to have answered. I’ve also had enough experience in life to know that some of you think you know all the answers and are right, contrary to what anyone else wants to tell you. Even others of you think that if others think differently than you do, you have to be sure that they know how wrong they are. These things are actually a natural tendency of some people. Love does not always come naturally. Even though it is the very essence of our Creator, it doesn’t always come naturally to us. That is a conversation for another time, except to say that navigating the answer to the questions about being loved and understanding the why of existence is a difficult journey to navigate. What I want to humbly ask you to think about today are these questions foundational questions: 1) If I have such a desire to make order out of what feels like chaos, why would it make sense that my very existence is not designed by someone or something full of order? 2) If someone did design me, does that someone love me? 3) If that someone leaves it completely up to me to achieve the goal of life, is that love? 4) Isn’t it more love for that someone to tell me that I have been given everything I need for this life and the next because I am loved?

Friends, I am confident of this: God, the Creator of the Universe has given Jesus Christ, His only Son, so that you can have life and have it abundantly. There are not steps to achieving the life He has called you to. You simply have to believe it. It is not a far-fetched myth or fairy tale. The Encyclopedia Britannica says about myths “…there is no attempt to justify mythic narratives or even to render them plausible.” The same publication says of Fairy tales, “wonder tale involving marvelous elements and occurrences, though not necessarily about fairies.” They are stories rooted in folklore and art. The Christian message is a message that has withstood the test of time. It has the backing of archeologists, scientists, historians, and theologians around the world. The evidence is overwhelming. The precepts are trustworthy and true. You don’t have to take my word for it. The Case for Christ by the New York Times Bestselling Author Lee Strobel will lay out this journalist’s personal investigation of the evidence for Jesus. The Case for A Creator, and The Case for Faith by the same author will offer evidence that all points to the God of the Bible. Evidence That Demands a Verdict by Josh McDowell is another great resource that will help you look into what I have proposed in this blog.

“Do you love me and will you always love me?” - When asked what side of a moral issue like the issue of LGBTQ, someone for whom I have great respect paused a moment and said “LOVE.” That is what I want to be known for. As for God, let’s allow Him to speak for Himself: 1 John 4:10 The Passion Translation “This is love: He loved us long before we loved him. It was his love, not ours. He proved it by sending his Son to be the pleasing sacrificial offering to take away our sins.”

“Why?” Like any parent would say, I can’t begin to answer all of your “why” questions. To answer the question of why He sent His Son, again, He can speak for Himself: John 3:16 The Passion Translation 16 For this is how much God loved the world—he gave his one and only, unique Son as a gift. So now everyone who believes in him will never perish but experience everlasting life.

I’m always interested and willing to make this a dialog. If you would like to interact publically in the comments section, we can do so. I’m happy to take it offline using my email address, which you can find in my bio.

As always, thanks for reading.